foodnetworkruinedmylife:

1 drink if:

- three males and one female 

- someone says something along the lines of “I’m too good for this ingredient" 

- someone garnishes with citrus

- someone fries a basket ingredient for a garnish 

- multiple chefs make the same type of dish

- only one person knows how to correctly prepare the ingredient

- someone forgets a basket ingredient until the last minute

- someone leaves off a basket ingredient

- an italian pronounces everything in a thick accent

- salad in the appetizer round

- ice cream in the dessert round

- someone panics over their baked dessert not cooking

- someone attempts to make a risotto

- someone talks about chopping something up and then cuts themself

- a competitor “has overcome a lot of obstacles and is not going to let this one take them down”

- “get it on the plate”

- sriracha

- “I’m looking down at my dish and I’m feeling good”

- a judge asks someone if they tasted their dish and they didn’t

2 drinks if:

- alex and scott are sitting next to each other

- a dessert isnt sweet enough for amanda

3 drinks if:

- scott conant’s chest hair is showing

- ted allen says “be well”

- someone describes food as “sexy” (+1 if it’s scott conant)

finish your drink if:

- that one asshole that you were rooting against wins

bratphomet:

all this week has been “senior week” at my school only it has been unofficial and was completely orchestrated by the students without permission from administration and each day has had a theme so yesterday was “tourist tuesday” and every senior student dressed up in typical “tourist” outfits like hawaiian shirts and socks with sandals and fanny packs and sunglasses and all that and the administration thought it was funny until they started a “tour group” so the entire senior class didnt attend class at all and wandered the campus as a group with a “tour guide” pointing out and explaining random things to the entire group but it all went downhill when the tour group walked into a classroom and as the guide was giving the group a fake tour of the class one of the kids pointed to a widely hated teacher and asked the tour guide “what animal is that?” and thats the story of how my school issued 84 detentions in one day

emperorirene:

jollityfarm:

Why is it that when couples make a new human life, it’s ‘beautiful’ and ‘miraculous,’ but when I make a new human life alone in my basement, it’s ‘a crime against nature’ and ‘morally abhorrent’?

lahvn:

Is it just me or was this year like … Really fucking overwhelming? Like everything’s that’s happened to you this year has shaped you into a completely different person that you were at the beginning of this year

wangpatang:

“your generation is obsessed with instant gratification” mom you freak the fuck out and stomp out of a restaurant when you wait more than 15 minutes for your food